Bread and butter · Uncategorized


We are forever separated by a thing that has no substance.

We will never see each other again in the form in which we recognise. But I still see you in my dreams. I sometimes forget that you are not here. I sometimes forget. Instead you are on a long journey , you are travelling uncharted seas. Sometimes it hits me like a punch to the the stomach. I am winded, shocked and I back to that place again.

Life is now divided into the before and after. Years are now divided into the difficult year and others. The difficult year brings pain and tears. The difficult year is too close to be avoided so I hold my breath when my eyes scan over the date. Life is divided into the before he got sick and after. Before he got sick he was larger than life, he was indestructible. Before he got sick loss was inconceivable, tragedy happened to other people. Life is divided  into the innocent me and the forever changed me. The innocent me did not truly now how painful and unfair life could be. The innocent me lived in a happy bubble.

I am forever changed by the difficult year and I treasure the time before he got sick. I look back fondly at the innocent me. 

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